I was walking around the barnyard looking for something to do, me being young and a bit annoying. I ended up sitting on a log directly behind our rooster, let’s call him, “Mr. Pain”. I don’t think many people know how big a rooster can get, those suckers get massive, feathers all over the place, the goofy but strangely cool comb and ridiculous spurs on their back heels, nothing to start shit with.
Especially when you are 3′ tall. Half the fun of being a kid though, is that you do extraordinary amounts of stupid things, so I started kinda poking this monstrosity with a long piece of grass, which is perhaps the most annoying thing possible. It’s kinda sharp and ticklely all at once,.
After a couple seconds of this, Mr. Pain turns around and looks at me. Even though chickens are by and large extremely stupid, they still know when someone is messing with them. There’s a pecking order for a reason, you try and start stuff while you are just a little chicken, you get your ass kicked, and thus you find your place in the pecking order. Mr. Pain, would have none of my taunting and jumped my ass. I can say that this was the first time I got my ass jumped and hopefully the last time by a member of the avian family.
Suffice to say, I still have a scar on my forehead where Mr. Pain dissed out some barnyard justice. And suffice to say, Mr. Pain was soon on the receiving side of the barnyard equalizer, a shotgun wielded by Poppa Marsh.